


No Use Coming Out of The Closet

by VetHavelock



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Meeting the Parents, OOC Vetinari, Sad Attempts at Humor, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:32:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2406962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VetHavelock/pseuds/VetHavelock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are never easy. The hardest part is proabably telling others about it. Watch what will happen to this odd couple when they reach this milestone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is my first story. I hope you'll like it. Sorry if I make some mistakes. English is not my first language.

Samuel Vimes Jr. was going home for weekend. This year he has turned eighteen. He was learning in School of Assassin's Guild. Everybody was thinking that he would become just like his father. Next commander Vimes. When he was kid he thought that too but now he grew up and knew he wasn't born to be a watchmen. His younger brother Ernest when older would be just like their father. Sam wanted to be an actor. But he didn't know how he could say this to his parents. He entered house and then he felt somebody's gaze on his back. He turned only to be greeted with someone's lips on his. When they break the kiss he looked at Havelock Vetinari. Yes, lord Vetinari. Patrician of Ankh-Morkpork and his lover. Yet another thing he didn't know how to tell his parents.


	2. Meet the Children

They were lying cuddled together under blankets in Sam's bed. Sam was thinking. Next morning Lock was meeting his ex-lover lady Margolotta von Uberwald. He was anxious to meet their children Patrick and Amelia. The biggest problem was that Patrick was only 2 years his junior.  
"What's the matter, love?" asked Havelock.  
"It's nothing" he answered .  
"You can't lie to me. I know you too well".  
After some time of awkward silence Sam finally said "I'm just afraid I won't meet the expectations of your children. That they'll think I'm so much worse for you than their mother"  
"They'll love you. There's nothing to worry about" Havelock comforted him and drew him into tight embrace.  
"Yes, I suppose you're right. It'll be okay."-sighed Sam.  
"So...jealous much?"  
"Ha you wish!" His mood was instantly raised.

Sam was angry. No, not angry. He was furious. His parents decided to play matchmakers. They invited over king and queen of Lancre with their daughter Esmeralda. With them came along two elder women and one younger. They looked a lot like witches but he wasn't crazy enough to tell it aloud. They were witches after all. He had to take Esmeralda sightseeing. She asked, no demanded it. But what's interesting in Ankh-Morpork. Suddenly he saw blur. They were near the opera. He looked at girl. And saw her in arms of some blonde teenager. He cleared his throat. Finally Esmeralda remembered that she's not alone.  
"Well... This is my boyfriend Pat." she said.  
"Nice to meet you" said Pat. They talked for awhile. Later they said their farewells and Samuel went his way to Patrician Palace.

Lord Vetinari was reading reports when he heard loud thud and stream of obscenities under his window.  
Few minutes later Sam Vimes burst inside Oblong Office. He was bruised and dusted but still grinning.  
-You've been trying to climb on that wall for three years. By now you should know that it's impossible.-said Havelock.-Just go by door.  
-Oh, but where's the fun in that.  
Havelock motioned for him to come closer. They were kissing senseless when the door opened. It revealed this boy. This Pat. He wore smug expression looking at flushed state of two men in front of him.  
-Well Dad, it was just the right time to come out of the closet.-he said.  
Sam looked at Lock with questioning look. Havelock understood why Sam was confused.  
-Sam-he said-this is my son Patrick. Patrick, this is my paramour Sam.  
Sam blushed at that.  
-Oh, we met before Dad.-said Patrick laughing.  
-Yes, his girlfriend introduced us.  
It was Patrick's turn to blush.  
-Well, I'd really like to meet her.-said Lock. They talked some time. Sam found out that Pat was to stay permanently in Ankh-Morpork to study painting. He felt better. Meeting one's lover's child wasn't that bad after all.

Few hours later Drumknott announced that lady Margolotta has appeared. Then blonde woman came inside with little girl in tow. Girl had long black hair and amber eyes just like Lock's. Sam knew it was probably Amelia. Girl threw herself at her father.  
-Hello Havelock-said lady.  
-Hello to you too, Margolotta.-he said and kissed her hand.  
-And who is that?-asked little Amelia pointing at Sam.  
-That's a good question, Ames.  
-It's my lover, Sam Vimes Jr.-said Sam.  
-Your lover...So you're now... you know...  
-No I don't. Care to enlighten me.  
-You know, gay.  
-Oh, that one... Yeah, pretty much all my life.-he said smugly.  
There was some time of awkward silence. Finally Amelia came near Sam and motioned for him to bent. Then she hugged him. It came as a shock. Then everything got better. After that day ended Sam was really glad everything was over and he felt at peace.


	3. Ch.2. Advices and treats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I got over my block and decided to finish this after two years. I also would like to add something that I forgot the last time. Nothing you can recognise is mine.

Ch.2. Advices and treats

It was sometime after that when Havelock recieved a letter from his aunt saying that she was going to visit. He wasn't exactly thrilled by that idea. She was always nagging him about his bachelorhood. After she introduced him to one young lady he was forced to run away through the window. Now it was going to get even worse. Somehow she found out about his homosexuality and was probably looking for some gentelman he could court. Considering he had two options: play along and go out with some stranger or tell her about his current relationship. He couldn't decide which would end worse. He talked with Sam about this and for now he would just endure it for the moment. Were it to end badly he would tell her.

Lady Roberta Mesrole walked into her nephew's office. She was greeted very kindly. She got a perfect match for him. Bisexual son of noble man. He was the owner of some kind of company. His father was rather well-off. She was sure of her choice. But back to the present.  
-So madame who is this mysterious man that I'm meeting today.  
-Oh, I won't tell you dear, that would ruin the surprise, but I have a feeling that he's the one.  
-But he's not going to kill me with fork or remove my eyes with a spoon, is he?  
-No, he's completly normal man from noble origin. No need to be afraid.  
-I don't think I shouldn't worry if he's noble man. They usually want me dead.  
-Let your aunt have her fun, will you?  
-It's not going to be alright. I have a feeling.

William de Worde was waiting for a date in fancy restaurant. As things were going nowhere with Sacharisa he decided to have a little fun. His mother introduced him to one of her friends. They said they had a blind date for him. He knew nothing about them. Not even gender. But it wasn't a problem for him. "It must be somebody busy and important" he thought "Were they anything but they wouldn't be so late". His musings stopped when somebody sat in front of him. He looked at them. It was a man who altough quite easy on the eye, had looks not unlike that of predatory flamingo. His face was very familiar. Then it hit William. Sitting in front of him was Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.

He wasn't sure what to do. Suddenly his companion started talking in a voice that didn't make room for objection and made you think about future full of spikes and scorpions.  
-You will not write about any of it in your newspaper.  
William could only nod.  
-Well then.-said Patrician- Let's enjoy our dinner.  
They're time was really odd that's why when Otto burst into restaurant talking about some factory fires he immediately ran out with him. When they were making their way to the factory William asked:  
-Otto, would you like to eat something with me later?

Now it was sure. He was going to inform his aunt about Samuel. He invited him over and toghether they waited for her return. She finaly came near midnight. She looked at Sam.  
-Who is this?-she asked.  
\- Do you remeber madame when I mentioned to you about Sybil's wedding to Commander Vimes?  
-Of coarse deary.  
-Well he's the consequence.  
-So he is Sybil's child.  
-Yes I am. And I'm also the one your nephew is courting. - said Sam who was too nervous to care about caution.  
-Oh... - muttered Lady Maserole and then started laughing. - Why didn't you say something before I went out of my way to find you someone?  
Hmm... Maybe it wasn't that bad after all.


End file.
